Ode to a city in the sun, with it’s back to it

How shall I go in peace, without sorrow? 

No! 

Not without a wound to the spirit shall I depart from this city. 

Long have been the moments of pain and joy I have spent within its walls, and long have been the nights of loneliness and solitude.

Who can depart from his loneliness and pain and joy and love, without regret?

For too many fragments of my spirit have I scatted within your walls, too many children of my thoughts and longings walk through your hills.

How am I to leave them behind without an ache, without a burden? For at this moment of departure, it’s not a garment I shed, but a skin that I reap with my own hands.

For it is not a thought or a longing that I leave behind, but a heart that has been made and remade sweet, by hunger and thirst that it can not see.

Yet I can’t hang around anymore. I am no longer a welcomed guest of the custodians of the city

What higher form of disrespect, than a guest that overstays his visit? Will he not be treated with contempt? Shall his privileges not be taken from him?

No! I can’t stay hia anymore.

For the sea that calls all, calls me and I must embark.

For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound. Yet to leave and look back is to disrespect the sea, her who promises to wave me to new dwellings or perhaps even back to my city of birth.

How I wish I could take all that is in this city with me. But how can I? Can the smoke lift the herbs that produce it? Can my voice carry the lips and tongue that gave it wings? Does not the phoenix without the nest fly across the sky? No! Nothing can be taken from this city, not even her memories.

Oh what sorrow, such joy.

Now I over stand, the deeper that sorrow curves into your being, then the more joy you can contain. Realize that, that which gives you joy is the same that gives you sorrow, and when you weep see the truth that, that which you weep has been your delight. And as such, the balances of these keep the city intact.

And my soul too.

Farewell  my beloved city, farewell, my refuge at that time, my hope of end times, sorrow of this time and joy for all time. Farewell.